Forgive me Konoha
by devism
Summary: Love or duty. Sometimes one has to choose.


Disclaimer: sadly I don't own any of them.

"Sensei, Obito…Are you watching over us? Over me? I wish you were here to guide me, tell me what to do. I…I…," Kakashi choked

_Forgive me Konoha_

"Is this right? This doesn't feel wrong. In fact I crave for more. I can't seem to get enough of it. Of him."

_You were once of utmost importance to me. Now_..._ Not anymore…not since I met him…_

"We were told since young that shinobi should not feel. We are just tools in service for Konoha. But when I'm around him, I cannot suppress these emotions, this warmth pooling in my stomach. I just feel."

_I'd give my life for you. But he is my life. I'll live just for him. I'd kill to protect you but for him, I'll give up my life and more to save him from harm. Even from me._

"It's only been months since we started dating but it is as if we've known each other for ages. He's so perfect. Perfect for me. Sometimes I fear that my mere presence will taint him. My past failures seem to weigh so much at that moment. But then he would smile. That wonderful, warm smile telling me how much I mean to him. All the love I so cherish in that smile," Kakashi reminisced, his sharingan having memorized his handsome features forever.

_You are so beautiful, no matter the season. Cherry blossoms dancing, twirling in the air in springs. Sunlight caressing our skin, brightening our day during summer, filling shinobis' heart with warmth. I used to think that nothing can compare. _

"Regardless of how sometimes I think he's better off without me, I will never be the one to hurt him since leaving him will make him cry. Tears that I never want to see because of me. Somehow, Kami-sama must have pitied me and bestowed me with such a gift. His love. One I am not sure to deserve but which I am keeping anyway."

_But then, with his loose hair twirling with the spring breeze, sunlight caressing that glorious golden skin flushing with warmth during summer. Or blushing at mere touch. MY touch. His beauty is beyond comparison._

"Is it fair to ask me such thing? Give him up…Never! What do I do? Sensei, what would you do in my place?" Kakashi pleaded to the memorial stone. As much as he suffered when his sensei died saving Konoha and his best friend, Obito, died to save him. Kakashi knew that he will not survive loosing him. The Kakashi that everyone knows will cease to exist leaving the shell, Sharingan Kakashi the warrior, the perfect killing machine.

**Flashback**

"Yo," Kakashi waved to the hokage after the smoke of his appearance dissipated. He had been summoned three hours ago. Had it been a mission or an important meeting a messenger nin would have been sent or even an ANBU. Instead he was told by Genma that the hokage wanted to see him. Of course, being his usual self, he took all his time. He could not afford coming on time, he had a reputation to maintain after all. Also he could not not spend his time watching a certain teacher through the academy's window.

"You're late, brat," Tsunade fumed.

"Well I was walking down the street when this cat g..."

"Cut it out!" Tsunade roared. "I've enough of all these excuses." Kakashi just blinked. Must be fighting a hangover, he thought eyeing the empty sake bottle on her desk.

"Do you know why I called you here, Kakashi?" she asked seriously.

"Maa, is this because of the training field's state? You can just tell Gai to stop issuing challenges and m..."

"No. It's not about that. There's a rumor about you that I'm concerned with. I thought it was just a fling at first and then you started dating. From what I heard, things are pretty serious between you two."

Kakashi stiffened on hearing her words. Somehow it didn't occur to him that the hokage summoned him to talk about his personal life. He didn't make it a secret that he was dating and who. As if a secret such as this could be kept from a village full of ninja.

"Yes it is and more." Kakashi replied just as seriously.

Tsunade sighed. As much as she was fond of both of them, she could not let this situation go on like this. Elders kept pestering her with their rants. These old fossils with their prehistoric mindset could not tolerate that one of their elites could be in a relationship. There was also the issue of the teacher's influence over the children. What will happen to the future of the prestigious clans of Konoha if ever the heirs decide to let their heart choose? Will they turn away from their duty to their clans' continuity, to Konoha?

"Brat…Kakashi. Elders are concerned about your involvement with him. They do not want you to have a weakness or eve..."

This time a livid Kakashi interrupted her angrily: "He's not a weakness! He'll never be! He may be a chunnin but you of all people know how fierce he is when he is protecting those he cares about. Hell, he may be a jounin if he wants to. You know it."

"I know but elders don't. Kakashi, I'm not telling you to leave him but keep your involvement low for a while. Atleast until I convince these oldies that your relationship is not detrimental to Konoha."

"Tsunade-sama, I can assure you that I am not ashamed of loving and being loved by him. I will not hide what I feel for him to appease these old fools. I won't belittle my love for him. I love him."

"Kakashi…"

"Please Hokage-sama; I can't hide what I feel for him. We'll both be miserable. I don't want my love for him to be considered as mere lust and what we are doing is just for release. I don't care about others. Even if I am being selfish, so be it."

Tsunade could see in that single eye, eye that used to be so impassive, all the anguish he is feeling. Such devotion and love also. She closed her eyes thinking about any other solution. She can order Kakashi to leave him, atleast for a while, but she knew deep down that she will only end up loosing two of her most faithful shinobi. She opened her eyes, watching one of her best ninja shaking with indignation and, yes, nervousness. She sighed.

"Alright, I will see to these elderly _respected _citizens. Just keep a low profile for a while. Now, go away. You're dismissed."

"Thank you," Kakashi replied sincerely, hastily moving to the window to leave as quickly as possible dreading that she will change her mind. Leaping on the roofs, he headed towards one of the few places he felt at peace. The memorial stone.

**End of flashback**

"I've been serving Konoha for as long as I can remember. Is this my reward for these years of servitude? Where the only thing precious to me is going to be snatched from me. I will not let it happen!"

_I was always rushing to return to you at the end of missions. Heart filled with longing to walk in your hustled and bustled streets buzzing with life. Life that always soothes the ache in my soul after having killed so many during these assassination missions._

"If only these idiots can see how much sane I am because of him. How he grounds me to reality when missions become nearly unbearable. He's the only one that heals my injuries. The only one to see me when weak. The only one I allowed to. Of course, he just treats minor wounds and refuses to heal me further if medical help is required," he smiled when he remembered how he survived the wrath unleashed when he failed to go to the hospital and instead went to see him at the mission desk, clothes tainted with blood, mud and grime and promptly fainted in his arms. His fury fueled by his concern and love.

_I am still rushing to you, but only to return to him at the end, or just to catch a glimpse of him to appease my soul when he is busy at the academy. His welcoming smile, touch and kisses soothing my pain chasing the dreadful memories that linger after missions._

All around him, only birds could be heard and the sound of rustling leaves; music to his sensitive ears. However, Kakashi could also feel another presence. A presence making Kakashi's skin tingle. A wave of emotion passed through him making him feel at peace at last.

"You're right. Love can never be wrong. As long as he's besides me, loving me, wanting me, I'll overcome any obstacle trying to tear us apart. As long as he wa…"

"Kashi"

Kakashi slowly turned. There he was a few feet away. Umino Iruka. His most precious person. His everything. With a last look at the memorial stone, he lazily made his way to Iruka, grabbing his hands when he finally reached him and tugging at his captive hands to enfold him in his arms so as to properly hug the chunnin. Then without delay, pulled down the mask to kiss the daylights out of him. Only the need to breathe made the Copy nin release his sweet lips to drop several small kisses on the adored facial scar.

"Let's go home," Iruka gasped when the scarecrow bit his earlobe.

"Hmm, yes, to continue on with much more productive activities," Kakashi leered, already linking their arms together. _Home wherever Iruka is._

_Forgive me Konoha. If I had to choose…_


End file.
